Tag Archive | wisdom

Life is not (always) a fairy tale

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The title of this post may seem quite controversial to the name and general positive message of this blog, as it suggests a more realistic and ruthless approach to life. If I want to be totally honest, I would simply say that ‘Life is not a fairy tale’. I don’t mean to be negative here in any way, just explain that there is a balance in life that we need to find and work with so that we can live with less frustration and more satisfaction.

Life is supposed to be waves of ups and downs, good and bad times, positive and negative experiences. No one can be ‘up’ all the time. There is an ebb and flow of life, or as the yin and yang symbol suggests: there is good and bad, positive and negative; and it is all about finding the balance. Without the negative, we would not know what is positive. Without darkness, we would not know what light is.

Having grown up on television, I realised how much the media (at least most of it) made us believe that life can be a fairy tale. I remember all the TV series and romantic movies I have seen that made us believe in and hope for a perfect life. Most TV programmes back then were not showing a realistic image. I understand that the point of those programmes was pure entertainment, but they brainwashed most people to believe in a romantic picture that does not equal real life.

The power of television has slightly changed and weakened since the Internet and social media took over in the last decade. However, this new technology and new media platforms bring up the same issues in different forms. On social media, people tend to broadcast a perfect image of their life (omitting the imperfectness), whether they are famous, popular, semi-famous or just average people. This has proven to lead to depressive feelings or even depression, especially among the youngest generation who are easily led to believe that they are not as good as others, when in fact, nobody’s life is perfect all the time or in all respects.

Life is not (always) a fairy tale, however we can learn to accept the fact that it is never perfect and live it with a positive attitude. Even in dark times, we can focus on improving ourselves in various ways, we can appreciate what we already have and learn the lessons we need to learn in order to move on to the next level. We need not be impatient or frustrated, the Universe will support us to get there when the time is right and when we are ready. We are here to enjoy the ride and do our best in the present moment.

 

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Stop procrastinating

 

Many of us wonder how we can effectively stop procrastinating and be more productive in our lives. I do not have the ultimate answer to that question, I am just one of those people who struggles with procrastination from time to time, and trying to figure out why we are sometimes working against ourselves. It seems like we are our own enemy when we do not take action towards our goals that we have set out to achieve, but maybe we should just chill out a bit and stop verbally punishing ourselves for not doing what we think we ‘should’ do.

We can read various tips on how to stop procrastination. Starting with one small task may give us the motivation to move on to the next task. But sometimes we are not even able to get started with the easiest task.

One of the best ways to stop procrastination is to eliminate the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary. When you say things like ‘I should clean the house’ or ‘I should sort out my paperwork, but I don’t feel like doing it’, then you are not fully present in the now. The now is all you have, the past is already gone and the future is not here yet. What would you have to do now that could make you feel better about yourself? What could you do now that your future self will thank you for? Can you accept the now as if you had chosen it, or your mind is constantly wandering off into the past or the future? Can you make the best out of your now? In other words, can you be present in the now, because that is all you have?

Whenever you catch yourself saying ‘I should’, stop for a moment and ask yourself why you are putting off doing that certain task. Probably it wouldn’t take too much time to sort out the clutter around the house, but we would feel much better after it has been done. Each small task that you can do in your now will be beneficial to your future, no matter how small it is. Progress is progress, even if you are taking only baby steps at a time. If you don’t feel like cleaning today because you are too tired – do not feel guilty, just relax a bit; but when you wake up with a fresh mind, do whatever you can do to make yourself feel better and get on the right path to achieve your goals.

 

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Work with the Universe, not against it

 

The title refers to one of Eckhart Tolle’s quotes I have found recently:

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I have found this quote quite appropriate for my current situation, and I was meaning to write a follow-up post to my previous blog post: Everything happens for the better?

When I was writing that post I was in an uncertain situation where all I could do was to trust the Universe/God, have faith and continue to do my best. It did not take long for the ‘magic’ to happen as an unexpected phone call solved my issue.

The above quote from Eckhart Tolle reminds us as well to work with the Universe, no matter what situation we are in. Do what you need to do, do what is right, follow your instincts.

We might be waiting for a situation to get resolved. Instead of getting frustrated and worried, we should just do what we can do, and trust that the Universe/God will take care of the situation. It might take a while, as God might have a better/bigger plan for us.

Trust that all will be fine in the end, take all the necessary actions that you think are needed, and let God deal with the rest. Work with the Universe, not against it!

 

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Don’t let others define you

 

“You were born original, don’t die a copy.” (John Mason)

As the quote above says, we are all born as individual beings, with our own unique talents, wishes, goals, dreams, ambitions and desires in life. There are no two people on this Earth who want the exact same things in life at the same time. Yet, so many people let themselves being defined by their parents, their family, their friends, their religion, their community, etc.

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” (Alan Ashley-Pitt)

Personally, I never liked to follow other people (friends, colleagues, family) when it came to decisions. I always made sure that I was making the choice that I really wanted to do, and not something a family member or a friend suggested. However, you can still be influenced in a less obvious way. It can be hard to ‘not please’ the closest people around you, and go the opposite way, if that is what you really want to do. But remember that you have only one life, so you have to make the most of it before you realise it’s too late.

 

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People often come to me with ‘life advices’, about where I should move to, what job I should do, why I should do this or that… Today, these advices go in in one ear, and go out in the other, since I know that I am never going to do what other people tell me to do, unless it matches exactly with my own ideas.

When you are facing decisions, listen to your own inner voice. Not your parents, not your neighbours, not your boss… Get clear about what you want, and plan accordingly. The first step will be the hardest, but once you are on the right path, your dreams will unfold perfectly. Don’t think that following your own path is selfish. Expecting someone to live in a certain way is selfish. We are here to live, to explore and to be happy!

 

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Live your life your way!

 

This is just a quick reminder that you don’t always have to do what everyone else is doing. As social beings, we do need to accommodate to others many times, but we do not need to be copycats, and blindly follow everyone else. Too many people are wasting their precious time following and copying others, missing something in life, feeling empty inside.

Just use your common sense, and do what is best for you! It may sound selfish, but pleasing other people all the time will never make you happy either! Your parents might want you to become a doctor, but if painting and art is what makes you happy, then do that instead! You have to think of your own happiness and fulfil your own calling!

As an individual, you might prefer certain things to others, and you might be different from the people around you, but it does not mean that you are any less worthy than others. If you don’t like to go out for dinner with friends or colleagues, then enjoy your meal at home. If you want to eat the dessert first, then do that! Treat and love yourself! Be yourself, and live your life your own way!

 

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Have the courage to be who you are!

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The only way to live a happy life is by being who you really are. Some people might struggle even to find out who they really are; while others might have an idea, but they don’t have the courage to be themselves and live that way. There is a lot of pressure on each individual coming from family members, friends and society that they should live in a certain way. Some people will accept this automatically, others might follow the ‘rules’ not being sure whether that is the right thing to do, but the most courageous will find their own way of living a happy life.

If you are somebody who is not sure who they really are, first you need to find out the answer to the question. You might need to get away from the buzz of life and clear your mind. Spend some time on your own, and think about what you really like doing. Try to remember what you enjoyed doing as a child and what your dreams used to be as a kid. They might seem like unrealistic fantasies, but they will give you a clue about what you really like and where your talents are.

If you know already who you really are and what you like doing, but you don’t have to courage to live that way, then all you have to do is take the first step and follow your dreams. Don’t let others discourage you, it is your life, you have to live it your own way. It can be hard to say ‘no’ or turn your back to certain people and habits, but you have to take the first steps. Your life will not change overnight, but you have to start your own journey at some point towards happiness.

 

 

Some people sadly waste their whole lives living somebody else’s life. Don’t be that person! If you have the courage, it will only take a few years for you to live your life the way you want it. You will not achieve all your dreams straight away, but once you are on the right path, you can be assured that your life is going the right way and you can enjoy the journey.

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Don’t sabotage your happiness!

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In life, it happens many times that when we have the chance to gain something, we feel like we don’t deserve it and we sabotage our own happiness. If we don’t have the courage to make changes, then we might get stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. In fact, for change to happen in our life, we have to let go of something: maybe some friends, maybe a job, a place or those old habits that don’t support us anymore. I believe this is the natural process of change, we have to lose something in order to gain something new.

When you want to make a change in your life, listening to others’ opinions is not always the best idea. You will turn to your friends, colleagues or family first, but they will have a different point of view, their own one. If you really need another person’s opinion or advice, it is better to get an opinion from an outsider (e.g. a counsellor/coach) rather than from someone who is emotionally or in any other way involved in the situation.

When you have a dream/goal, and you really want to make it happen, you have to trust yourself, and life will support you. Other people around you might have doubts, they might have different opinions, but it is your life, your journey, and it is your duty to make yourself happy and successful. Share your ideas with people who have similar goals to you and you know that they will support you no matter what. This will give you courage and motivation to take more and more inspired action towards your dreams.

 

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You deserve all the happiness and success in the world, so don’t forget to act that way. Don’t feel ashamed about your dreams, and have courage to live your own life the way you want to live it! It is your life and not somebody else’s! Being happy is not being selfish. Other people may have their opinions, but that is because they are thinking about themselves first, so they are being selfish. If you are happy, you can share more happiness with others, therefore in the end, everyone will benefit.

I wish that you dare to go after your dreams and live the life you have imagined!

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Your time is precious

Our time in this lifetime is too precious to not live our own life. It happens to many people that they only copy somebody else’s life, like that of their parents, family or friends. As the saying goes: “You were born original, don’t die a copy!”

It may seem easier to just copy the life of somebody else, but that is not you were born for. It may be challenging to follow your own path and dreams, but in the end that is how you can fulfil your life and happiness.

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I have gone through a few years in my life when I did not have the courage to follow my own path. I listened to others, I listened to my parents until I realised that I have to do what makes me happy and not what anybody else expects me to do. At times, it can be hard to follow your dreams, as you may have to burn some bridges, you may have to say “no” to your loved ones, but it is all worth it in the end. There is nothing worse than not living your own life and regretting not taking those chances that you could have taken.

Everyone has their unique personality, with their unique journey in life. Life is too short to waste any of your precious time.

Know what you want and do that! Find yourself and be that!

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Be grateful and appreciate the good

 

Whatever stage in life you might be at this moment, you will most probably wait for the next big change to happen. You might be waiting to get a new job, you might be ready to start a better relationship, you might be wanting to move to a new place, etc. We are all preparing and waiting for something, with more or less patience. Some people might be completely stressed out before making the next big change, but I suggest you to take it easy and enjoy the ride rather than stressing yourself unnecessarily.

Remember that life is a journey, not a destination.
When you are trying to change something in your life, be grateful for the lessons you learn during the journey and use them wisely to reach your next achievement. One experience leads to another.

 

 

Even if you feel like 1, 2 or 3 years is too much to wait for something to happen, it really isn’t. As they say, time is going to pass anyway, so you better start that new project right now by taking baby steps to achieve it. Just take the first steps, and the next ones will reveal themselves on the way. And if your project takes a long time, then enjoy the journey. Reward yourself for the little steps, and appreciate everything that brings you closer to your goal.

If your mind is clouded with stressful thoughts, then sit down with a notebook and write down everything that you are grateful for and appreciate all that you have achieved so far. Make peace with where you are right now, enjoy the journey and stay happy!

 

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Blessings in disguise

 

What if we could look at life as everything is a blessing in disguise? Changing our perspective could turn all of our seemingly negative experiences into positive ones: we could grow, we could learn and possibly create something even better than the original plan.

What if we could change our perspective every time something or somebody disappoints us, when we get criticism or things don’t turn out the way we wanted?

Reading about the stories of highly successful people made me realise that in life nothing comes easy. These people have been rejected many times, but what made them excel in the end was the fact that they did not give up on their dream, no matter what. They have learnt to use rejections in a powerful way.

What if we could look at every experience in life as a lesson to learn, and then move on as a wiser and more experienced person? What if we could turn around the energy of the rejection to try even harder and prove to everyone that we are good enough?

 

 

Let’s try to find the positive in every experience for our own good. There is no point getting caught up in negative emotions. Instead, let’s try to learn, grow and become who we are meant to be!

 

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