Tag Archive | quotes

Don’t let others define you

 

“You were born original, don’t die a copy.” (John Mason)

As the quote above says, we are all born as individual beings, with our own unique talents, wishes, goals, dreams, ambitions and desires in life. There are no two people on this Earth who want the exact same things in life at the same time. Yet, so many people let themselves being defined by their parents, their family, their friends, their religion, their community, etc.

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” (Alan Ashley-Pitt)

Personally, I never liked to follow other people (friends, colleagues, family) when it came to decisions. I always made sure that I was making the choice that I really wanted to do, and not something a family member or a friend suggested. However, you can still be influenced in a less obvious way. It can be hard to ‘not please’ the closest people around you, and go the opposite way, if that is what you really want to do. But remember that you have only one life, so you have to make the most of it before you realise it’s too late.

 

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People often come to me with ‘life advices’, about where I should move to, what job I should do, why I should do this or that… Today, these advices go in in one ear, and go out in the other, since I know that I am never going to do what other people tell me to do, unless it matches exactly with my own ideas.

When you are facing decisions, listen to your own inner voice. Not your parents, not your neighbours, not your boss… Get clear about what you want, and plan accordingly. The first step will be the hardest, but once you are on the right path, your dreams will unfold perfectly. Don’t think that following your own path is selfish. Expecting someone to live in a certain way is selfish. We are here to live, to explore and to be happy!

 

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Be yourself!

 

In a world where it is not so easy to be true to your own self, the best thing you can do for yourself is to know yourself and stay true! It is a struggle many times, but to live the life that is the best for you and your happiness, you should follow your own path.

Any human being who lives in any community is under the pressure at some point to be like ‘the others’. We all want to be like the majority at some point in order to be more accepted, more loved and more popular in our community.

This pressure starts already in our childhood, in school, where we all want to be like the ‘cool’ kids. But the ‘cool’ kids are not necessarily the best ones, and they often do not turn out to be the happiest and most successful adults. Teenagers often engage in activities like smoking, drinking, drugs, gangs only because of this peer pressure, they want to be cool and accepted by others.

I believe this peer pressure does not end with the teenage years, as an adult, you are still highly influenced by the people you spend the most time with, whether they are friends or colleagues.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” (Jim Rohn)

Most adults spend the most time at work; so if you are working with other people, your colleagues are going to put the same kind of pressure on you. Of course, you want to get on with your colleagues, because you work together as a team. If it is a good team, you might even go out for a coffee, for a drink or for dinner together. You try to fit in, but what if your colleagues have different values than you? Do you go with the group, or do you draw a line? Do you become like them, or you keep following your own values outside work? What if your colleagues like to go out drinking every week, and you prefer not to drink alcohol and spend your time with more meaningful activities?

It is all about personal preferences and values, but one could get seriously lost with a group of people just because they have tried to fit in. Maybe they will spend their whole life drinking after each working week, while they could have followed that hobby or passion they originally had before they started to be like ‘the others’.

 

 

Personally I never belonged to the coolest or most popular members of a group, but I never even wanted to. You can always choose the people that resonate with you most, and have a few real friends rather than a lot of fake ones. I have tried to change myself occasionally to fit in, but it never felt right. I have always been aware of who I really am; and with a bit of life experience now, I am even more confident in my personal values. I am who I am, and I am not going to change my values just to fit in. I might change them for myself, but not for a group of people.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” (Dr. Seuss)

Let’s just conclude that we do need to fit in to our communities to a certain level. We can gain a lot from these social connections, but sometimes we need to draw a line and not forget who we really are, our own values, what we live for and what is the most important to us.

 

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The power of your thoughts

 

“As a single footprint will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep, physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over again the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.”  (Henry David Thoreau)

I have recently come across this quote, and I find it very powerful.

If you have read any books on the law of attraction or any other spiritual books, then you must be aware that our thoughts have creative power. Our thoughts create our life, the Universe is reflecting back to us what we are creating with our thoughts. Our thoughts create our reality.

I believe that our thoughts have even more power than we can comprehend. Some people live their everyday life without even knowing anything about the power of their thoughts. If they have a happy life, they must have happy, positive thoughts, so in the end it is all good for them, whether they are conscious of this power or not.

But there are also those people who constantly create negative stuff in their life because of their repetitive negative thinking that will only attract negative experiences for them. I wish these people realised that they could change their life, not overnight, but they could start with one thought, and then work on another one, and then another one.

We can change ANYTHING in our life, just by our way of thinking.

“Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change.”

It may be hard to do so, because we all face many distracting factors. We have to live our life, do our job, look after our family, etc. We might have negative thinking patterns we brought from our childhood, and it takes conscious effort to change them.

You have to put in quite some effort to change your thoughts. But for any change to take place in your life, it has to start with your thoughts.

If you don’t put the effort in it, nothing is going to change. You have to pave the path, as the quote says above. It takes practice, it takes time and patience.

Tips:

A good way to change your thoughts, or concentrate on the positive aspects of any subject, is to start a gratitude journal. Write down all the blessings that happened during the day, and write down everything you are grateful for. You can also focus “being positive” on a single subject by writing down all the positive thoughts about that one thing, it can be a person or anything you want to improve in your life.

 

 

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Inspiration

 

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I thought I would share this quote with you all, because it might help someone out there to get on with their life, to remember to look for the positive or to practice more positivity in their life in general.

Over the years, I have been learning to look for the positive aspects in all situations. What I have learnt is, no matter how hard your current situation is, you can always find positive aspects in it, which will help you move towards a better future.

Many times I find myself more positive in certain situations than other people are around me, and this gives me the chance to remind these people – whether they are colleagues, friends or family – to always look at the bright side of life, learn the lesson from the situation and move on .

I hope you have found this little reminder helpful.

 

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Inspiration

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“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has ever been before.”
― Albert Einstein
 
 

Use your imagination!

“Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.” (Albert Einstein)

No more words are necessary to add to what Einstein said, we only need to apply this in practice in our own life that we are living right now. Children always use their imagination, but as adults we often forget that we can indeed create new worlds by using our imagination.

If we wish to change something in our life, why not imagine different outcomes than what we are used to or what logic tells us!? Our logic works based on what we experienced before, but what if things were different this time? Dare to use your imagination! First, just for fun. Then, you will be able to create new experiences in your life, because you dared to use all the colours in your mind, and your life will show up with new turns that you couldn’t have expected if you had used solely your logical thinking.

Einstein also says imagination is more important than knowledge. Indeed, we need to be able to imagine new things, new outcomes so that we can expect them to happen.

We should all get creative mentally if we do not want to get stuck in the boring routine of everyday adult life. Let’s create new worlds with the help of our imagination. It is possible! Add a little colour to your life and expect different outcomes! Where would you like to go? To a tropical island? Who would you like to meet? What would you change in your life?

Let’s have fun! Imagine everything you would ever want if there were no limitations! As an exercise, you can write down about 5 things every day in a notebook – you will definitely open your mind this way, and sooner or later those fun events or at least some of them will appear in your life!

“Live out of your imagination, not your history.” (Stephen R. Covey)