Tag Archive | live well

Life is not (always) a fairy tale

DFTP Clover

The title of this post may seem quite controversial to the name and general positive message of this blog, as it suggests a more realistic and ruthless approach to life. If I want to be totally honest, I would simply say that ‘Life is not a fairy tale’. I don’t mean to be negative here in any way, just explain that there is a balance in life that we need to find and work with so that we can live with less frustration and more satisfaction.

Life is supposed to be waves of ups and downs, good and bad times, positive and negative experiences. No one can be ‘up’ all the time. There is an ebb and flow of life, or as the yin and yang symbol suggests: there is good and bad, positive and negative; and it is all about finding the balance. Without the negative, we would not know what is positive. Without darkness, we would not know what light is.

Having grown up on television, I realised how much the media (at least most of it) made us believe that life can be a fairy tale. I remember all the TV series and romantic movies I have seen that made us believe in and hope for a perfect life. Most TV programmes back then were not showing a realistic image. I understand that the point of those programmes was pure entertainment, but they brainwashed most people to believe in a romantic picture that does not equal real life.

The power of television has slightly changed and weakened since the Internet and social media took over in the last decade. However, this new technology and new media platforms bring up the same issues in different forms. On social media, people tend to broadcast a perfect image of their life (omitting the imperfectness), whether they are famous, popular, semi-famous or just average people. This has proven to lead to depressive feelings or even depression, especially among the youngest generation who are easily led to believe that they are not as good as others, when in fact, nobody’s life is perfect all the time or in all respects.

Life is not (always) a fairy tale, however we can learn to accept the fact that it is never perfect and live it with a positive attitude. Even in dark times, we can focus on improving ourselves in various ways, we can appreciate what we already have and learn the lessons we need to learn in order to move on to the next level. We need not be impatient or frustrated, the Universe will support us to get there when the time is right and when we are ready. We are here to enjoy the ride and do our best in the present moment.


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Stop procrastinating


Many of us wonder how we can effectively stop procrastinating and be more productive in our lives. I do not have the ultimate answer to that question, I am just one of those people who struggles with procrastination from time to time, and trying to figure out why we are sometimes working against ourselves. It seems like we are our own enemy when we do not take action towards our goals that we have set out to achieve, but maybe we should just chill out a bit and stop verbally punishing ourselves for not doing what we think we ‘should’ do.

We can read various tips on how to stop procrastination. Starting with one small task may give us the motivation to move on to the next task. But sometimes we are not even able to get started with the easiest task.

One of the best ways to stop procrastination is to eliminate the word ‘should’ from our vocabulary. When you say things like ‘I should clean the house’ or ‘I should sort out my paperwork, but I don’t feel like doing it’, then you are not fully present in the now. The now is all you have, the past is already gone and the future is not here yet. What would you have to do now that could make you feel better about yourself? What could you do now that your future self will thank you for? Can you accept the now as if you had chosen it, or your mind is constantly wandering off into the past or the future? Can you make the best out of your now? In other words, can you be present in the now, because that is all you have?

Whenever you catch yourself saying ‘I should’, stop for a moment and ask yourself why you are putting off doing that certain task. Probably it wouldn’t take too much time to sort out the clutter around the house, but we would feel much better after it has been done. Each small task that you can do in your now will be beneficial to your future, no matter how small it is. Progress is progress, even if you are taking only baby steps at a time. If you don’t feel like cleaning today because you are too tired – do not feel guilty, just relax a bit; but when you wake up with a fresh mind, do whatever you can do to make yourself feel better and get on the right path to achieve your goals.


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It is all about our attitude


Recently through my work experience, I had the chance to observe how people behave and how it makes them upset or happy. They were exactly in the same situation, their happiness all depended on their choice or attitude.

Usually I don’t share too much personal information on my blog, but for the sake of this post I have to share that I am currently working on a cruise ship, that is why I am  having a very busy life.

When our last cruise started, the ship was not able to dock on time due to weather conditions.  The guests who had to leave were 8 hours late, and also the new arrivals had to embark 8 hours later.

This inconvenience made some people upset, while some people were grateful that they were fed for free when they had to stay longer, and most of the new arrivals were happy that they could finally embark the ship.

Weather conditions are in no way the company’s fault, safety is first, but some people are only able to blame other people for some inconvenience, and they do not see the big picture. They also forget that the ship’s staff is working extra hours only for them.

Let me give you 2 examples of people’s attitude.

During my duties I met two ladies who were upset about being late, they literally attacked me that their room key is not working after all this long day, and I have to fix that straightaway. I told them I cannot fix it if it is not working, but I can ask for help. Just in case I checked the key if it is really not working, and guess what? It WORKED! These two ladies wanted to find fault in everything, and they spoilt their holiday for themselves.

On the other hand, I saw one black guy with rasta hair who embarked the ship dancing, having fun, looking forward to his holiday. Later on, I met him again, he was talking on the phone, telling somebody that he decided to have a great holiday no matter what, no matter if others are complaining, it is only about one’s choice. Then he asked me where he can find a bar, because he wants to have more fun!

Whatever situation we are in life, our happiness depends only on our attitude.

Follow the rasta guy’s attitude and have fun!