Tag Archive | decisions

Don’t let others define you

 

“You were born original, don’t die a copy.” (John Mason)

As the quote above says, we are all born as individual beings, with our own unique talents, wishes, goals, dreams, ambitions and desires in life. There are no two people on this Earth who want the exact same things in life at the same time. Yet, so many people let themselves being defined by their parents, their family, their friends, their religion, their community, etc.

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” (Alan Ashley-Pitt)

Personally, I never liked to follow other people (friends, colleagues, family) when it came to decisions. I always made sure that I was making the choice that I really wanted to do, and not something a family member or a friend suggested. However, you can still be influenced in a less obvious way. It can be hard to ‘not please’ the closest people around you, and go the opposite way, if that is what you really want to do. But remember that you have only one life, so you have to make the most of it before you realise it’s too late.

 

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People often come to me with ‘life advices’, about where I should move to, what job I should do, why I should do this or that… Today, these advices go in in one ear, and go out in the other, since I know that I am never going to do what other people tell me to do, unless it matches exactly with my own ideas.

When you are facing decisions, listen to your own inner voice. Not your parents, not your neighbours, not your boss… Get clear about what you want, and plan accordingly. The first step will be the hardest, but once you are on the right path, your dreams will unfold perfectly. Don’t think that following your own path is selfish. Expecting someone to live in a certain way is selfish. We are here to live, to explore and to be happy!

 

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Book recommendation: The life-changing magic of tidying

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I have recently got to read Marie Kondo’s book “The life-changing magic of tidying”. I would recommend this book to anyone who feels that their home is constantly overcluttered or they never seem to get round to keep their homes clean and tidy. Keeping our living environment tidy is more important than we think. Our space often reflects our state of mind. If you live in an untidy home, then your mind is going to be cluttered all the time which could prevent you from achieving success and happiness in your life.

This book is not simply about decluttering our home. It is about getting rid of everything we do not need, everything that does not serve us anymore in a good way. The Japanese author suggests to keep only those things that “spark joy” within us. She has a spiritual kind of approach to tidying: you also need to learn to respect and appreciate your belongings in order to keep them neat and in good condition.

Keeping things tidy in this way is indeed magical, and life-changing, because your mind will finally clear up from all the stuff that surrounded you before, and you can turn your attention towards what is more important.

Finally a few words from the book: “After all, our possessions very accurately relate the history of the decisions we have made in life. Tidying is a way of taking stock that shows us what we really like.”

You can find more information and useful tips on facebook from the author: http://www.facebook.com/konmarimethod

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Have the courage to be who you are!

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The only way to live a happy life is by being who you really are. Some people might struggle even to find out who they really are; while others might have an idea, but they don’t have the courage to be themselves and live that way. There is a lot of pressure on each individual coming from family members, friends and society that they should live in a certain way. Some people will accept this automatically, others might follow the ‘rules’ not being sure whether that is the right thing to do, but the most courageous will find their own way of living a happy life.

If you are somebody who is not sure who they really are, first you need to find out the answer to the question. You might need to get away from the buzz of life and clear your mind. Spend some time on your own, and think about what you really like doing. Try to remember what you enjoyed doing as a child and what your dreams used to be as a kid. They might seem like unrealistic fantasies, but they will give you a clue about what you really like and where your talents are.

If you know already who you really are and what you like doing, but you don’t have to courage to live that way, then all you have to do is take the first step and follow your dreams. Don’t let others discourage you, it is your life, you have to live it your own way. It can be hard to say ‘no’ or turn your back to certain people and habits, but you have to take the first steps. Your life will not change overnight, but you have to start your own journey at some point towards happiness.

 

 

Some people sadly waste their whole lives living somebody else’s life. Don’t be that person! If you have the courage, it will only take a few years for you to live your life the way you want it. You will not achieve all your dreams straight away, but once you are on the right path, you can be assured that your life is going the right way and you can enjoy the journey.

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The journey of life

 

Decisions are often hard to make in life. I wonder many times what if I had chosen a different path at a certain point in my life, and if i had done so, where would I be now?

Would I have ended up in a different place? Would I have different friends? Would I have met different lovers? Would I have a different job?

Maybe all this doesn’t matter. Life is a journey, and maybe different paths lead to the same destination. As the law of attraction states, you attract to yourself what you feel inside. Therefore, if you are in a state that attracts good friends in your life, then you will attract good friends anyway.

 

 

I am the kind of person that does not make decisions easily. I consider all the pros and cons. I consider all the possible paths that may appear. I tend to think too much. I might even look up decision making strategies online.

In the end, we have to take the first step, and the next steps will reveal themselves. Making any decision is better than standing still. All paths will lead somewhere, there are no wrong choices. Our purpose is to walk the journey, and follow the personal paths that lead to our happiness.

 

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Do what you love!

Albert Einstein makes another good point here, and I think all teachers and educational systems should ponder on this question. Education often makes some students feel talentless, just because they are not performing well in a certain set of criteria. But the same low-performing students are sometimes able to achieve huge success in life.

We are taught things in school; but how much does this knowledge contribute to our success and happiness in life? And what is more important , how much do we actually love what we are doing? I am not against formal education, I am only suggesting some improvements, myself having graduated as a teacher as well. I personally thank a lot to my education, but I missed a certain kind of support in which they could have done better.

Maybe school is a good tool to give a qualification in our hands, and maybe we can pursue a career with that qualification all our life, and it allows us to make a living. But do we really love doing it or is it just a means to earn money?

I always felt frustrated when I had to make career choices. To choose something that you will do all your life. Really? Actually, you don’t have to. It is natural to change throughout the years of your life, to learn more about yourself through different experiences. First, what I found appropriate was to follow the examples that I saw around me, and many people do that. They follow their mom’s or dad’s footsteps until they realise this is not what they want. I also realised that I was different from the people around me; I have my own dreams, I enjoy doing certain things, while I may not enjoy doing some others.

I think that education should focus more on everyone’s personal talents and encourage students to go in that direction. If a teenager came to me to give them advice on a career choice, I would make them think about what they really enjoy doing and what their special talents are.

If one has big dreams, let them have big dreams. Nobody should feel limited, because other people don’t believe in them or it is their own family that does not support them. Everyone is supposed to do what they love doing.

Even if one choice fails, you still have the chance to move somewhere else, to learn something new, to try something else. You don’t have to be stuck in the same area all your life if you feel like it is not your world. You are never too old to start something new, and you will see that courageous choices always have their rewards in life.

Follow your heart and dare to dream big!

Take the road less travelled

 

Why take the road less travelled?

Take the road less travelled and you may find what you’ve been looking for all your life.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less travelled by, and that has made all the difference.” (Robert Frost)

Whenever I made choices in life based on what I considered rational choices, they did not really bring any gifts or happiness with them. They were “okay” choices, I didn’t have to convince people around me that they were the right choices, because nobody objected those decisions.

When you choose to follow your own path, there will be people who will criticise you, judge you and even condemn you.  Never mind, you know what you want and where you will find it!

Choosing your own path may be harder, there will be obstacles, but it is definitely worth it! Much better than following somebody else’s path and regretting that choice later.

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)