Tag Archive | courage

Don’t let others define you

 

“You were born original, don’t die a copy.” (John Mason)

As the quote above says, we are all born as individual beings, with our own unique talents, wishes, goals, dreams, ambitions and desires in life. There are no two people on this Earth who want the exact same things in life at the same time. Yet, so many people let themselves being defined by their parents, their family, their friends, their religion, their community, etc.

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” (Alan Ashley-Pitt)

Personally, I never liked to follow other people (friends, colleagues, family) when it came to decisions. I always made sure that I was making the choice that I really wanted to do, and not something a family member or a friend suggested. However, you can still be influenced in a less obvious way. It can be hard to ‘not please’ the closest people around you, and go the opposite way, if that is what you really want to do. But remember that you have only one life, so you have to make the most of it before you realise it’s too late.

 

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People often come to me with ‘life advices’, about where I should move to, what job I should do, why I should do this or that… Today, these advices go in in one ear, and go out in the other, since I know that I am never going to do what other people tell me to do, unless it matches exactly with my own ideas.

When you are facing decisions, listen to your own inner voice. Not your parents, not your neighbours, not your boss… Get clear about what you want, and plan accordingly. The first step will be the hardest, but once you are on the right path, your dreams will unfold perfectly. Don’t think that following your own path is selfish. Expecting someone to live in a certain way is selfish. We are here to live, to explore and to be happy!

 

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Have the courage to be who you are!

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The only way to live a happy life is by being who you really are. Some people might struggle even to find out who they really are; while others might have an idea, but they don’t have the courage to be themselves and live that way. There is a lot of pressure on each individual coming from family members, friends and society that they should live in a certain way. Some people will accept this automatically, others might follow the ‘rules’ not being sure whether that is the right thing to do, but the most courageous will find their own way of living a happy life.

If you are somebody who is not sure who they really are, first you need to find out the answer to the question. You might need to get away from the buzz of life and clear your mind. Spend some time on your own, and think about what you really like doing. Try to remember what you enjoyed doing as a child and what your dreams used to be as a kid. They might seem like unrealistic fantasies, but they will give you a clue about what you really like and where your talents are.

If you know already who you really are and what you like doing, but you don’t have to courage to live that way, then all you have to do is take the first step and follow your dreams. Don’t let others discourage you, it is your life, you have to live it your own way. It can be hard to say ‘no’ or turn your back to certain people and habits, but you have to take the first steps. Your life will not change overnight, but you have to start your own journey at some point towards happiness.

 

 

Some people sadly waste their whole lives living somebody else’s life. Don’t be that person! If you have the courage, it will only take a few years for you to live your life the way you want it. You will not achieve all your dreams straight away, but once you are on the right path, you can be assured that your life is going the right way and you can enjoy the journey.

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Don’t sabotage your happiness!

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In life, it happens many times that when we have the chance to gain something, we feel like we don’t deserve it and we sabotage our own happiness. If we don’t have the courage to make changes, then we might get stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. In fact, for change to happen in our life, we have to let go of something: maybe some friends, maybe a job, a place or those old habits that don’t support us anymore. I believe this is the natural process of change, we have to lose something in order to gain something new.

When you want to make a change in your life, listening to others’ opinions is not always the best idea. You will turn to your friends, colleagues or family first, but they will have a different point of view, their own one. If you really need another person’s opinion or advice, it is better to get an opinion from an outsider (e.g. a counsellor/coach) rather than from someone who is emotionally or in any other way involved in the situation.

When you have a dream/goal, and you really want to make it happen, you have to trust yourself, and life will support you. Other people around you might have doubts, they might have different opinions, but it is your life, your journey, and it is your duty to make yourself happy and successful. Share your ideas with people who have similar goals to you and you know that they will support you no matter what. This will give you courage and motivation to take more and more inspired action towards your dreams.

 

Don’t sabotage your happiness! | NoemiFairy:

 

You deserve all the happiness and success in the world, so don’t forget to act that way. Don’t feel ashamed about your dreams, and have courage to live your own life the way you want to live it! It is your life and not somebody else’s! Being happy is not being selfish. Other people may have their opinions, but that is because they are thinking about themselves first, so they are being selfish. If you are happy, you can share more happiness with others, therefore in the end, everyone will benefit.

I wish that you dare to go after your dreams and live the life you have imagined!

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Your time is precious

Our time in this lifetime is too precious to not live our own life. It happens to many people that they only copy somebody else’s life, like that of their parents, family or friends. As the saying goes: “You were born original, don’t die a copy!”

It may seem easier to just copy the life of somebody else, but that is not you were born for. It may be challenging to follow your own path and dreams, but in the end that is how you can fulfil your life and happiness.

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I have gone through a few years in my life when I did not have the courage to follow my own path. I listened to others, I listened to my parents until I realised that I have to do what makes me happy and not what anybody else expects me to do. At times, it can be hard to follow your dreams, as you may have to burn some bridges, you may have to say “no” to your loved ones, but it is all worth it in the end. There is nothing worse than not living your own life and regretting not taking those chances that you could have taken.

Everyone has their unique personality, with their unique journey in life. Life is too short to waste any of your precious time.

Know what you want and do that! Find yourself and be that!

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Finding your true self

 

This is going to be a rather philosophical post with an inspirational conclusion. I am sharing with you these thoughts, because maybe you have gone through or are going through something similar, and we can help each other on this journey.

Recently I’ve been wondering who I really am and how my upbringing, my parents, my larger family and my education influenced who I have become.

How do we know who we are? Is it something deep inside or is it what environmental factors make us to become?

Probably it is both. Just like with our physical appearance, we have genetics and environmental factors. For example, some people are ‘born’ to be overweight (it’s in their genes), while some people become overweight because they keep eating fattening foods.

Twins may be separated at birth if they get adopted, but research shows that even when they had been separated, their lives turned out to be very similar, which means there is something very similar between them on a deeper level. However, the environment in which a person grows up can also greatly influence someone’s choice of career or the quality of their relationships.

I am showing these examples, because I am wondering who I really am: What are those things that are innate in me, and what are those things that I have picked up from my environment? I feel like my family and education had a huge influence on me, but I do not like all of those influences.

Why do we, as individuals, like certain things and dislike others?

Why do people like different genres and styles of music? What does it say about a particular person? What does it mean if someone likes rock, dubstep, jazz or classical music? Our ‘likes’ can actually change, depending on what kind of people we spend most of our time with.

Why some people love reading books, while others never read any?

We might think that the more educated a person is, the more likely they are going to like reading books. We might think that introverted people are more likely to read books than extroverted ones. But an educated and a less educated person can both like rock music, for example.

How much education itself can influence our likes and dislikes?

I wonder sometimes if our education influences us on a healthy or unhealthy level.

In my personal life, I have followed some completely different paths than what was expected in my family.

My education ‘made me’ complete some university degrees which ‘do not earn me my bread’ right now. Again, I followed a different path.

 

 

I feel happy with the different paths I have chosen, but I am constantly questioning whether my likes and dislikes are good for me or not. Or rather, which one is the real Me? The one who should follow what my education made me to be, or the one who wants to be free and go for their dreams?

Well, I guess I know the answer.

If I follow my dreams, then I am a happy person. However, I sometimes feel a bug in me that says: “Why do you leave behind what you have worked for, what your teachers have taught you, what your family expected you to become?”

By the end of this post, I came to a conclusion and I do have a motivational message for you: Life is a journey, and we need to find happiness in each step; because if you are not happy right now, when are you going to be happy?!

We might need courage to follow our dreams, but I promise you, it is all worth it! Dare to be your real Self and enjoy the journey before it’s too late!

We all need to unlearn some things in order to find our real Self, and to fulfil our real dreams. For our own happiness, we should be able to think outside the box to realise that life is not all about following blindly what society expects us to become. It is an individual, unique journey for everyone.

 

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Do what you love!

Albert Einstein makes another good point here, and I think all teachers and educational systems should ponder on this question. Education often makes some students feel talentless, just because they are not performing well in a certain set of criteria. But the same low-performing students are sometimes able to achieve huge success in life.

We are taught things in school; but how much does this knowledge contribute to our success and happiness in life? And what is more important , how much do we actually love what we are doing? I am not against formal education, I am only suggesting some improvements, myself having graduated as a teacher as well. I personally thank a lot to my education, but I missed a certain kind of support in which they could have done better.

Maybe school is a good tool to give a qualification in our hands, and maybe we can pursue a career with that qualification all our life, and it allows us to make a living. But do we really love doing it or is it just a means to earn money?

I always felt frustrated when I had to make career choices. To choose something that you will do all your life. Really? Actually, you don’t have to. It is natural to change throughout the years of your life, to learn more about yourself through different experiences. First, what I found appropriate was to follow the examples that I saw around me, and many people do that. They follow their mom’s or dad’s footsteps until they realise this is not what they want. I also realised that I was different from the people around me; I have my own dreams, I enjoy doing certain things, while I may not enjoy doing some others.

I think that education should focus more on everyone’s personal talents and encourage students to go in that direction. If a teenager came to me to give them advice on a career choice, I would make them think about what they really enjoy doing and what their special talents are.

If one has big dreams, let them have big dreams. Nobody should feel limited, because other people don’t believe in them or it is their own family that does not support them. Everyone is supposed to do what they love doing.

Even if one choice fails, you still have the chance to move somewhere else, to learn something new, to try something else. You don’t have to be stuck in the same area all your life if you feel like it is not your world. You are never too old to start something new, and you will see that courageous choices always have their rewards in life.

Follow your heart and dare to dream big!

Values and investments

“Nowadays people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.” (Oscar Wilde)

We live in such a materialistic world that we seem to forget the true value of things. We all know the price of everything: from the price of bread, milk, flour, eggs to the price of toiletries, perfumes, clothes, cars and the newest electronic gadgets that we are going to throw out in a few years’ time anyway.

They say that the best things in life are free: like laughter, friendship, love, family, friends, hugs, etc. It is true, but I find it interesting to look at the relative value of money. As we all know from Einstein, time is relative, and similarly the value of money is relative too. Maybe a new expensive gadget means the whole world to somebody, while for me it is only a piece of plastic. I could spend that money on things that are more important to me. Maybe a certain car means everything to somebody, while for me a car is only a tool to get from A to B. Maybe another person works hard to spend his money on things that mean nothing to me.

The question of money also occurs when you invest into your future, be it an actual financial investment or any long-term investment in studies, for example. I am not talking about business and finances here, that is not my world. I do believe however that investments “in life” pay back in the end, that is why they call them so. Of course, when you invest in something that is really your true and genuine desire and the results make you happy in the long run.

Many people who have financial difficulties are terribly afraid of investments and can look at money only one way. That evil money… They never risk anything. In the end, money is just money, it is a tool, it is energy – as it is said. Thinking about people who live in tribal societies, I reckon they don’t have issues with money. They don’t want to buy the newest gadget, because they don’t even know it exists. Supposing they have enough supplies to feed themselves, they can have a perfectly happy life – without money!

For those of us living in non-tribal societies, we should remember what the true values are in life, and when it comes to money, we should not look at it as something evil. We should not be fearful of anything in life.

I had to learn the hard way that you need to be courageous when you want to invest in something or when you are just about to try something you never did. You need to get out of your comfort zone. You have to do things you never did before to get different results. Even though at this point you can’t see whether it will be worth it, but if you never try, you will never know. If you trust Life, you will always be catered for, no matter what. So there is no need to be afraid, the benefits will prove to be worth a hundred times more than your investments.