Don’t let others define you

 

“You were born original, don’t die a copy.” (John Mason)

As the quote above says, we are all born as individual beings, with our own unique talents, wishes, goals, dreams, ambitions and desires in life. There are no two people on this Earth who want the exact same things in life at the same time. Yet, so many people let themselves being defined by their parents, their family, their friends, their religion, their community, etc.

“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” (Alan Ashley-Pitt)

Personally, I never liked to follow other people (friends, colleagues, family) when it came to decisions. I always made sure that I was making the choice that I really wanted to do, and not something a family member or a friend suggested. However, you can still be influenced in a less obvious way. It can be hard to ‘not please’ the closest people around you, and go the opposite way, if that is what you really want to do. But remember that you have only one life, so you have to make the most of it before you realise it’s too late.

 

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People often come to me with ‘life advices’, about where I should move to, what job I should do, why I should do this or that… Today, these advices go in in one ear, and go out in the other, since I know that I am never going to do what other people tell me to do, unless it matches exactly with my own ideas.

When you are facing decisions, listen to your own inner voice. Not your parents, not your neighbours, not your boss… Get clear about what you want, and plan accordingly. The first step will be the hardest, but once you are on the right path, your dreams will unfold perfectly. Don’t think that following your own path is selfish. Expecting someone to live in a certain way is selfish. We are here to live, to explore and to be happy!

 

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Your story for 2016 is unwritten

 

It is the beginning of the year 2016, and your story is still unwritten. You can write anything you want in it, so I advise you to make it a great one! The opportunities are there, just reach out for them and enjoy the journey!

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

 

 

 

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Live your life your way!

 

This is just a quick reminder that you don’t always have to do what everyone else is doing. As social beings, we do need to accommodate to others many times, but we do not need to be copycats, and blindly follow everyone else. Too many people are wasting their precious time following and copying others, missing something in life, feeling empty inside.

Just use your common sense, and do what is best for you! It may sound selfish, but pleasing other people all the time will never make you happy either! Your parents might want you to become a doctor, but if painting and art is what makes you happy, then do that instead! You have to think of your own happiness and fulfil your own calling!

As an individual, you might prefer certain things to others, and you might be different from the people around you, but it does not mean that you are any less worthy than others. If you don’t like to go out for dinner with friends or colleagues, then enjoy your meal at home. If you want to eat the dessert first, then do that! Treat and love yourself! Be yourself, and live your life your own way!

 

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Book recommendation: The life-changing magic of tidying

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I have recently got to read Marie Kondo’s book “The life-changing magic of tidying”. I would recommend this book to anyone who feels that their home is constantly overcluttered or they never seem to get round to keep their homes clean and tidy. Keeping our living environment tidy is more important than we think. Our space often reflects our state of mind. If you live in an untidy home, then your mind is going to be cluttered all the time which could prevent you from achieving success and happiness in your life.

This book is not simply about decluttering our home. It is about getting rid of everything we do not need, everything that does not serve us anymore in a good way. The Japanese author suggests to keep only those things that “spark joy” within us. She has a spiritual kind of approach to tidying: you also need to learn to respect and appreciate your belongings in order to keep them neat and in good condition.

Keeping things tidy in this way is indeed magical, and life-changing, because your mind will finally clear up from all the stuff that surrounded you before, and you can turn your attention towards what is more important.

Finally a few words from the book: “After all, our possessions very accurately relate the history of the decisions we have made in life. Tidying is a way of taking stock that shows us what we really like.”

You can find more information and useful tips on facebook from the author: http://www.facebook.com/konmarimethod

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Have the courage to be who you are!

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The only way to live a happy life is by being who you really are. Some people might struggle even to find out who they really are; while others might have an idea, but they don’t have the courage to be themselves and live that way. There is a lot of pressure on each individual coming from family members, friends and society that they should live in a certain way. Some people will accept this automatically, others might follow the ‘rules’ not being sure whether that is the right thing to do, but the most courageous will find their own way of living a happy life.

If you are somebody who is not sure who they really are, first you need to find out the answer to the question. You might need to get away from the buzz of life and clear your mind. Spend some time on your own, and think about what you really like doing. Try to remember what you enjoyed doing as a child and what your dreams used to be as a kid. They might seem like unrealistic fantasies, but they will give you a clue about what you really like and where your talents are.

If you know already who you really are and what you like doing, but you don’t have to courage to live that way, then all you have to do is take the first step and follow your dreams. Don’t let others discourage you, it is your life, you have to live it your own way. It can be hard to say ‘no’ or turn your back to certain people and habits, but you have to take the first steps. Your life will not change overnight, but you have to start your own journey at some point towards happiness.

 

 

Some people sadly waste their whole lives living somebody else’s life. Don’t be that person! If you have the courage, it will only take a few years for you to live your life the way you want it. You will not achieve all your dreams straight away, but once you are on the right path, you can be assured that your life is going the right way and you can enjoy the journey.

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Don’t sabotage your happiness!

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In life, it happens many times that when we have the chance to gain something, we feel like we don’t deserve it and we sabotage our own happiness. If we don’t have the courage to make changes, then we might get stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. In fact, for change to happen in our life, we have to let go of something: maybe some friends, maybe a job, a place or those old habits that don’t support us anymore. I believe this is the natural process of change, we have to lose something in order to gain something new.

When you want to make a change in your life, listening to others’ opinions is not always the best idea. You will turn to your friends, colleagues or family first, but they will have a different point of view, their own one. If you really need another person’s opinion or advice, it is better to get an opinion from an outsider (e.g. a counsellor/coach) rather than from someone who is emotionally or in any other way involved in the situation.

When you have a dream/goal, and you really want to make it happen, you have to trust yourself, and life will support you. Other people around you might have doubts, they might have different opinions, but it is your life, your journey, and it is your duty to make yourself happy and successful. Share your ideas with people who have similar goals to you and you know that they will support you no matter what. This will give you courage and motivation to take more and more inspired action towards your dreams.

 

Don’t sabotage your happiness! | NoemiFairy:

 

You deserve all the happiness and success in the world, so don’t forget to act that way. Don’t feel ashamed about your dreams, and have courage to live your own life the way you want to live it! It is your life and not somebody else’s! Being happy is not being selfish. Other people may have their opinions, but that is because they are thinking about themselves first, so they are being selfish. If you are happy, you can share more happiness with others, therefore in the end, everyone will benefit.

I wish that you dare to go after your dreams and live the life you have imagined!

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Your time is precious

Our time in this lifetime is too precious to not live our own life. It happens to many people that they only copy somebody else’s life, like that of their parents, family or friends. As the saying goes: “You were born original, don’t die a copy!”

It may seem easier to just copy the life of somebody else, but that is not you were born for. It may be challenging to follow your own path and dreams, but in the end that is how you can fulfil your life and happiness.

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I have gone through a few years in my life when I did not have the courage to follow my own path. I listened to others, I listened to my parents until I realised that I have to do what makes me happy and not what anybody else expects me to do. At times, it can be hard to follow your dreams, as you may have to burn some bridges, you may have to say “no” to your loved ones, but it is all worth it in the end. There is nothing worse than not living your own life and regretting not taking those chances that you could have taken.

Everyone has their unique personality, with their unique journey in life. Life is too short to waste any of your precious time.

Know what you want and do that! Find yourself and be that!

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