Archive | January 2015

Be yourself!

 

In a world where it is not so easy to be true to your own self, the best thing you can do for yourself is to know yourself and stay true! It is a struggle many times, but to live the life that is the best for you and your happiness, you should follow your own path.

Any human being who lives in any community is under the pressure at some point to be like ‘the others’. We all want to be like the majority at some point in order to be more accepted, more loved and more popular in our community.

This pressure starts already in our childhood, in school, where we all want to be like the ‘cool’ kids. But the ‘cool’ kids are not necessarily the best ones, and they often do not turn out to be the happiest and most successful adults. Teenagers often engage in activities like smoking, drinking, drugs, gangs only because of this peer pressure, they want to be cool and accepted by others.

I believe this peer pressure does not end with the teenage years, as an adult, you are still highly influenced by the people you spend the most time with, whether they are friends or colleagues.

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” (Jim Rohn)

Most adults spend the most time at work; so if you are working with other people, your colleagues are going to put the same kind of pressure on you. Of course, you want to get on with your colleagues, because you work together as a team. If it is a good team, you might even go out for a coffee, for a drink or for dinner together. You try to fit in, but what if your colleagues have different values than you? Do you go with the group, or do you draw a line? Do you become like them, or you keep following your own values outside work? What if your colleagues like to go out drinking every week, and you prefer not to drink alcohol and spend your time with more meaningful activities?

It is all about personal preferences and values, but one could get seriously lost with a group of people just because they have tried to fit in. Maybe they will spend their whole life drinking after each working week, while they could have followed that hobby or passion they originally had before they started to be like ‘the others’.

 

 

Personally I never belonged to the coolest or most popular members of a group, but I never even wanted to. You can always choose the people that resonate with you most, and have a few real friends rather than a lot of fake ones. I have tried to change myself occasionally to fit in, but it never felt right. I have always been aware of who I really am; and with a bit of life experience now, I am even more confident in my personal values. I am who I am, and I am not going to change my values just to fit in. I might change them for myself, but not for a group of people.

“Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” (Dr. Seuss)

Let’s just conclude that we do need to fit in to our communities to a certain level. We can gain a lot from these social connections, but sometimes we need to draw a line and not forget who we really are, our own values, what we live for and what is the most important to us.

 

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Be grateful and appreciate the good

 

Whatever stage in life you might be at this moment, you will most probably wait for the next big change to happen. You might be waiting to get a new job, you might be ready to start a better relationship, you might be wanting to move to a new place, etc. We are all preparing and waiting for something, with more or less patience. Some people might be completely stressed out before making the next big change, but I suggest you to take it easy and enjoy the ride rather than stressing yourself unnecessarily.

Remember that life is a journey, not a destination.
When you are trying to change something in your life, be grateful for the lessons you learn during the journey and use them wisely to reach your next achievement. One experience leads to another.

 

 

Even if you feel like 1, 2 or 3 years is too much to wait for something to happen, it really isn’t. As they say, time is going to pass anyway, so you better start that new project right now by taking baby steps to achieve it. Just take the first steps, and the next ones will reveal themselves on the way. And if your project takes a long time, then enjoy the journey. Reward yourself for the little steps, and appreciate everything that brings you closer to your goal.

If your mind is clouded with stressful thoughts, then sit down with a notebook and write down everything that you are grateful for and appreciate all that you have achieved so far. Make peace with where you are right now, enjoy the journey and stay happy!

 

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